Stage One: Differentiating
The interdependence of their courting stage is no longer so attractive. Now they are beginning to focus on how different they are, and much of their conversation is about their differences rather than similarities. To some extent, the differentiating stage is a healthy phase that most couples experience.
The differentiating stage can be worked out if the differences are not too great. The differences the two recognized and tolerated become focal points for discussion and argument. The most visible sign of differentiating is conflict. But differentiating can take place without conflict.
Stage Two: Circumscribing
At this stage, less and less information is exchanged. For them, it is better to stay away from mentioning them in order to avoid a full scale fight. Conversation is superficial. The number of interactions is decrease, the depth of discussions is reduced, and the duration of each conversation is shortened. Because communication is constricted, the relationship is constricted. Persons who are in this stage often cover up their relationship problems.
Stage Three: Sta
gnating
The stagnating stage is a time of inactivity. The relationship has no chance to grow, and when the partners communicate, they talk like strangers. The subject of the relationship itself is now off limits. How long this stage lasts depends on many things. Most couples whose relationship reaches this stage feel a lot of pain. They may find it hard to separate and may hold on to the hope that they can still work things out.
Stage Four: Avoiding
The avoiding stage involves physical separation. The parties avoid face-to-face interaction. They are not interested in spending time together. This stage is usually characterized by unfriendliness, hostility and antagonism.
Stage Five: Terminating
The participants find a way to bring their relationship to an end. Both parties are preparing themselves for life without the other. Differences are emphasized, and communication is difficult and awkward.
Knapp, in “The Rhetoric of Goodbye” state three distinct types of statements that commonly occur in terminating relationship.
First; there are the summary statements. “Well, we certainly have tried to make a go of it”
Secondly; statements that signal the likelihood of decreased access. “It might be better if we didn’t see each other quite so often”.
Finally; there are messages that predict what the future relationship (if any) will be like. “I don’t ever want to see you again”.
So, that’s it. Think about your relationship again. As for me, I’m at integrating stage, with my best friend, of course (hey, we’ve known each other for eight years!). We can predict our emotion. And sometimes, my best friend can sense that I’m in trouble and need support. So, he will be with me (on the phone!) and help to go through those difficult times.
At which stage you are?
The interdependence of their courting stage is no longer so attractive. Now they are beginning to focus on how different they are, and much of their conversation is about their differences rather than similarities. To some extent, the differentiating stage is a healthy phase that most couples experience.
The differentiating stage can be worked out if the differences are not too great. The differences the two recognized and tolerated become focal points for discussion and argument. The most visible sign of differentiating is conflict. But differentiating can take place without conflict.
Stage Two: Circumscribing
At this stage, less and less information is exchanged. For them, it is better to stay away from mentioning them in order to avoid a full scale fight. Conversation is superficial. The number of interactions is decrease, the depth of discussions is reduced, and the duration of each conversation is shortened. Because communication is constricted, the relationship is constricted. Persons who are in this stage often cover up their relationship problems.
Stage Three: Sta
gnatingThe stagnating stage is a time of inactivity. The relationship has no chance to grow, and when the partners communicate, they talk like strangers. The subject of the relationship itself is now off limits. How long this stage lasts depends on many things. Most couples whose relationship reaches this stage feel a lot of pain. They may find it hard to separate and may hold on to the hope that they can still work things out.
Stage Four: Avoiding
The avoiding stage involves physical separation. The parties avoid face-to-face interaction. They are not interested in spending time together. This stage is usually characterized by unfriendliness, hostility and antagonism.
Stage Five: Terminating
The participants find a way to bring their relationship to an end. Both parties are preparing themselves for life without the other. Differences are emphasized, and communication is difficult and awkward.
Knapp, in “The Rhetoric of Goodbye” state three distinct types of statements that commonly occur in terminating relationship.
First; there are the summary statements. “Well, we certainly have tried to make a go of it”
Secondly; statements that signal the likelihood of decreased access. “It might be better if we didn’t see each other quite so often”.
Finally; there are messages that predict what the future relationship (if any) will be like. “I don’t ever want to see you again”.
So, that’s it. Think about your relationship again. As for me, I’m at integrating stage, with my best friend, of course (hey, we’ve known each other for eight years!). We can predict our emotion. And sometimes, my best friend can sense that I’m in trouble and need support. So, he will be with me (on the phone!) and help to go through those difficult times.
At which stage you are?
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