Observation

This morning I was observed by none other than my former Bahasa Malaysia teacher, Pn. NZ. Since I atarted teaching in July 2008, she is the only person who observe and give me marks. Ironically, almost everytime she observed me, I'll be teaching summary. Only twice I taught literature. *sigh* This might be a punishment to me as I was very weak in summary for BM when I was form four T_T

I am not afraid to be observed. But somehow, if the same person observes me for the past four years, I feel uneasy. I feel exposed. Although I am quite pretty sure that she doesn't really understand what I teach (of course she won't check on my grammar). I've counted, she had been observing me for six times! And I have a strong feeling that for the next semester, she'll be observing me. Again.

I would like to get opinon for different people, my Head of Panel, for example. Unfortunately, our schedule always clash. Most of the time, she'll be having calss when I'm having class too. How can she observe me?

Observation also gives me an uneasy feeling. It will bring me back to April 16th, 2008. I was observed by my leacturer (for minor). That day, I was teaching There's been a Death in the Opposite House (Emily Dickinson). I taught my students about the people who are involved in a funeral. Without the jester in that class, my lesson was just like another funeral. Everybody just kept quiet. Either they stared at their book/handout or they stared at me.

After the lesson ended, my lecturer aske d me, what happened? My performance on that day was way too bad, compard to my previous lesson (I had two observations for my minor). I just shocked my head.

Little that I know, that I'll be attending my mum's funeral that afternoon.